One Morning in March (Or Something Like That)
by RavenTempestShadowhunter
Summary: Nico and Thalia have been fighting a lot lately. On St. Patrick's Day, they both consult their friends and family - mostly just to complain - and they both get the same advice. AU, Thalico, Percabeth, Jasper, rated for sexual themes (not porn) and drinking, legal and underage.


**One Morning in March (Or Something Like That)**

Nico slammed his fist down on the counter. "God, she's so annoying!"

Percy chuckled and took another sip of his beer. "She's just stubborn."

"She is! Why can't she just admit that sometimes she's not right?"

"She's not the only stubborn one in your relationship."

Nico gaped at his best friend. "What…I…I'm not stubborn!"

Percy rolled his eyes. "Nico, we once argued for two hours about whether I should wear a blue shirt or a green shirt to my first day of school."

"Yeah, well, I was right about that."

"The blue made me look gay!"

"Don't use gay like it's a bad thing."

"I'm not! I looked stereotypically gay!"

"I didn't see anyone complaining."

"I got hit on by four guys in one day. And one of them kept hitting on me for the rest of the year."

Nico shrugged. "Yeah, but he was cute."

Percy groaned and dropped his head onto the bar. "I am not drunk enough for this." He lifted up his head and signaled for the bartender to bring him another beer. He took a long gulp, then looked at his best friend. "Okay, okay, start from the beginning."

Nico's eyes narrowed as he began.

_"I come bearing gifts!" he heard from the front door._

_ He smiled at his girlfriend's familiar voice and made his way to the kitchen, where Thalia was setting three very full plastic bags on the counter._

_ He leaned in to kiss her. "You're a goddess."_

_ "I know."_

_ They both laughed, and she began pulling things out of the bags. "I wasn't sure what kind of cookies you liked, so I figured everyone likes Oreos."_

_ Nico winced. "Oh, um…"_

_ "If you say you don't like Oreos, I am walking away from this relationship," she warned with a finger in his face and a hand on her hip._

_ He shook his head so hard he was afraid it might fall off. "No, no, I like Oreos, it's just…I don't like normal ones. I only like the double-stuffed."_

_ Thalia rolled her eyes and pulled out the package of cookies. "The regular ones are tasteless. Double-stuffed is the only way to go."_

_ Nico grinned. "Have I mentioned you're a goddess?"_

_ "You could mention it again."_

_ She kissed him once more, and they both went back to unpacking._

"Is this going anywhere?"

"Shut up! Let me tell the story!"

"Well hurry up, or we'll be here all night."

Nico rolled his eyes.

_She turned to the fridge and began putting vegetables in the drawer. "You know, St. Patrick's Day is coming up."_

"Nico!"

"Sorry, sorry."

_"Um, Thalia?"_

_ Thalia looked up from where she was filling his fridge with three different ice-creams. "Yes?"_

_ He held up a jar. "You got Peter Pan peanut butter."_

_ She raised an eyebrow. "And?"_

_ "It's just, I usually get Jiffy."_

Percy groaned. "Don't tell me this whole fight was about peanut butter."

"Do you want to hear it or not?"

"Not."

"Shut up."

_"You're picky about your peanut butter?"_

_ He put the jar back on the counter. "It's important. Peter Pan is too sweet."_

_ "It's peanut butter!"_

_ "Then it shouldn't matter which one you have to look for."_

_ "It shouldn't matter which one you get!"_

_ Nico took a step forward, and Thalia closed the fridge. "Thalia, it takes two seconds to find the right kind of peanut butter."_

_ "Two seconds that I could be spending looking for the other food I need. And for God's sakes, you can't ask me to take extra time looking for a certain peanut butter when you want me to hunt down your stupid breakfast shakes."_

_ "They're easy to find! Aisle 5, above the oatmeal!"_

_ "No one looks above oatmeal! No one wants to look at oatmeal! It's disgusting and mushy!"_

_ "Oatmeal is good."_

_ "It's tasteless!"_

_ "That's why you put maple syrup on it, smart one."_

_ "I don't even like maple syrup."_

_ "That's a crime. That should be a crime. You should be serving time for that."_

_ Thalia picked up her purse from where she'd dropped it on the floor. "You know what? Fine. You go buy your own damn groceries."_

_ "I will!"_

_ "Fine!"_

_ "Fine!"_

_ Thalia slammed the door before they could realize how childish they were both being._

"You seriously fought about peanut butter."

Nico glared. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"I can't be on either of your sides when you're arguing about peanut butter."

"Peanut butter is important, I can't eat the wrong kind! It's disgusting!"

Percy sighed and ordered another beer.

* * *

"He's insufferable!"

Piper sighed.

"He's improving your vocabulary," Jason offered.

Thalia whirled around to glare at him. "Don't you start." She huffed and plopped herself down on the couch. "He's just so annoying sometimes! I mean, I like him, he's my boyfriend, but…"

"But he's as stubborn as you are and you can't stand it," Piper finished.

Thalia gaped at her. "I'm not stubborn!"

Piper laughed. Jason snorted through the mouthful of beer he'd just taken and ended up hacking his lungs out.

"Thalia, you're the most stubborn person I've ever met. Remember last week, when we were doing the crossword puzzle? You couldn't admit that I was right about that one clue, even after we went online and checked it." Piper pounded her husband's back without taking her eyes off of Thalia.

Thalia huffed. "The site was wrong," she said in a grumpy tone.

Piper rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, what's the worst that could have happened?"

"Well, he's _sooooo_ picky about his peanut butter, it has to be the right brand…"

Jason groaned. "Oh God, please not the peanut butter again."

Thalia glared at him, but began a different story.

_"Thalia!"_

_ Thalia blinked sleepily and padded her way across the kitchen and down the small hallway to the bathroom. "What?"_

_ "You don't have any soap."_

_ She sighed. "Check under the sink."_

_ "Could you get it for me?"_

_ "Just get out and get it."_

_ "I'm naked and soaking wet."_

"What was Nico doing naked and soaking wet in your apartment?"

"He was taking a shower, Jason, lighten up."

_"No one's in there with you, Nico, you can get out of the shower."_

_ "Thalia, please."_

_ "No! Don't be such a wuss."_

_ She heard a loud sigh from inside the bathroom. After a moment, the water turned off._

_ "You don't have to turn off the water, you idiot! You just have to get out! You probably don't even have to. You can just reach over and get it."_

_ "And fall out?"_

_ "You won't fall out! Unless you're really that clumsy."_

"Wait, can we go back to the part where Nico was taking a shower in your apartment?"

"We're still at that part."

"But doesn't he have his own apartment?"

"He stayed the night."

"Why was he staying the night?"

"Shut up, Jason! She's 24, she can do what she wants!"

"Thank you, Piper. And we haven't done anything like that yet. Can I finish?"

Jason humphed.

_"I can't believe I'm actually arguing with you about this," Thalia said, half to herself._

_ "It's not my fault you want water all over your floor."_

_ "If you get water all over my floor, so help me, I will…"_

_ "You're the one who told me to get out while I'm soaking wet!"_

Piper held up a hand. "I'm done with this. You were both being ridiculous, can we move on?"

"I wasn't being ridiculous! He was! He couldn't just get out of the shower to get the damn soap!"

"Hold on," Jason interrupted. "If you haven't done anything like that yet, why was Nico at your apartment over night?"

"Are we really going back to this?"

"Yes, we are."

* * *

Percy frowned at his beer. "Beer shouldn't be green," he said.

"It's St. Patrick's Day, Percy."

"So?" He looked at his best friend, his eyes crossing slightly as he tried to focus.

"They dye it green for St. Patrick's Day."

"That's stupid. They should dye it blue."

Nico rolled his eyes. "Can we get back to my problem here? Please?"

Percy sighed and put his glass back on the bar. "Have you done it with her yet?"

"Done what?"

"You know. _It_."

Nico blinked at him in confusion.

Percy rubbed his face. Jeez, they called _him_ Seaweed Brain. "Have you had sex with Thalia?"

Nico's face went as red as it possibly could, which was significantly less than Percy's could seeing as how Nico's skin was so much darker. "No," he mumbled. "What does that have to do with our arguments?"

"It has _everything_ to do with them." Percy straightened up. "Do you know how much me and Annabeth…"

"Annabeth and I."

"Whatever. We were _terrible_ before we started having sex."

Nico's face felt like it was on fire. "I'm not talking about this with you," he said decisively, turning back to face the bar and ask the bartender for another water.

"Fine, then talk about it with her. I don't care." Percy looked back down at his green beer. "Just stop bugging me about it."

* * *

Piper leaned forward and took another green shamrock shaped cookie. "I think I've figured out what your problem is," she announced.

"Thank God," Jason groaned from where he was lying on the couch. He was getting sick of listening to his sister complain.

Piper smacked his leg, and turned back to Thalia. "You need to start having sex with Nico."

Thalia choked on her beer, and Jason sat up to stare at his wife. "What?!" he screeched, his voice rising an octave and a half.

"She said they haven't done anything like that yet. That's their issue. Sexual tension."

"No!" Jason hauled himself up to sit properly. "You don't need to encourage that!"

Thalia, having stopped coughing, snorted. "Jason, you really think I'm a virgin?"

He turned to look at her. "I've been holding on to that fantasy since I learned what sex was, I'd like to keep it."

"Freshman year, Jace."

"God, please stop."

"He was a senior."

Jason stuck his fingers in his ears. "La la la la la la la."

"Anyway," Piper said loudly. "You're both stubborn as hell and you're not going to get over it, but I think you'll find that fucking him will help."

Thalia laughed as Jason moaned and curled himself into a ball.

* * *

"Thanks for picking him up," Nico said as he slammed the door on Percy, narrowly missing his best friend's head.

Annabeth smiled. "Thanks for calling me. Sure you don't need a ride?"

Nico shook his head. "I only had a couple shots, I'll be fine."

"You know, Nico, it's St. Patrick's Day. You're supposed to drink."

"I'm Italian, not Irish."

Annabeth shrugged. "Suit yourself." She got into her car and waved at him before driving off.

Nico sighed and began walking home.

When he made it to Thalia's street, he stopped. What Percy said had some merit. He hadn't thought of it before, but it wasn't a terrible idea. In fact, it was a really good idea.

His decision to go visit his girlfriend at one in the morning might have had something to do with the fact that he was a lightweight and three shots actually meant something, but he decided to ignore that.

* * *

Thalia dropped her keys on the table and sighed. Piper was right, of course. Thalia hadn't considered that that might be the problem, but now that she thought about it, it made sense. And besides, Nico was very attractive. If sleeping with him had even a chance of helping, then she was glad to do it.

She was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of the door opening. There wasn't any banging – whoever had opened it had done so with a key – but it was one in the morning and Thalia grabbed her baseball bat anyway.

"What are you doing?"

Thalia straightened up and looked down at the bat in her hands. "I thought you were a robber."

"If I were a robber, would I have used a key?"

"It's one in the morning, Nico, I don't know if you noticed that."

Her boyfriend shrugged. "I was out with Percy."

"Doing what?"

"Celebrating St. Patrick's Day."

Thalia nodded.

"He had an idea about how to fix our fighting issue."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Did it involve unresolved sexual tension?"

He nodded.

"Then he's on the same page as Piper."

"Did she say the same thing?"

"Yup."

Nico's eyes flicked down to the bat in Thalia's hands. "Would you please put down your baseball bat?"

She leaned it up against the counter.

"I figured it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to try it," Nico continued.

She nodded seriously. "Just to see if it works."

Nico grinned. "Exactly."

She took a few steps forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him. He settled his hands on her hips, but after a moment he decided that wasn't quite enough and backed her up against the counter. Grains of salt bit into her back as he lifted her shirt slightly, but she ignored them. He tasted too good.

She smiled as his shirt came off.

_**The Next Morning**_

Thalia was unexpectedly warm. For some reason, the heat never really got to her bedroom, so she was always very cold. But not this morning.

As she woke up, she realized that it was probably due to the man whose chest she was pressed against.

She grinned and snuggled closer to her boyfriend.

He hummed and shifted a bit. "Morning," he said in a sleep-laced voice.

"G' morning," she mumbled.

"We should get up."

She sighed. "Not yet."

"I have to work."

"So do I."

"We could call in sick."

"I think I've reached my limit on sick days."

"How about I call in sick, and you call in dead?"

Thalia snorted into his chest.

"I could call in sore."

"Are you?" He sounded concerned, and it made her heart flutter. Which was too cheesy for words, but she ignored it.

Instead she looked up at him and grinned. "Not yet."

**Right. Not really about St. Patrick's Day, but it's not easy to write a story about people drinking when on person in the couple doesn't really drink. And besides, I really wanted to put in Jason being protective. Also, I know Jason and Piper are both underage, being 20, but Thalia bought the alcohol, and really, who cares? I'm not promoting underage drinking, but, well, they're responsible.**

**On a different note, Annabeth's cousins will be visiting for the last week of March and the first week of April. Their names are Travis and Connor Stoll. Guess what happens during the first week of April.**

**Something to look forward to.**

**The next holiday one-shot will be April Fool's Day, and after that will be Easter. And I have a special surprise planned for the Easter one.**

**If you haven't read the newest chapter of White Rose, you should go do that.**

**Review!**


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